About Soul-searching and Not Being Flawless

Monday, November 17, 2014 0 Permalink 4

I have been super busy in the last few weeks, as you have probably noticed because I have not been very frequently writing on my blog. The main reason is that I was busy starting to film videos (yaay they will be up and running soon I hope). But in the process of filming I must say that I have been learning a bit more about myself. You learn while you live they say, even if it comes from unexpected corners. While I am one of those people that are pretty happy with themselves I must say I did go though quite a bit of soul-searching (and mirror-searching) as I was shooting and re-shooting the same video 50 times.

I think that one part of the problem that I had was that I am so used to watching YouTube videos that are made by women who have made it their careers. This means that they have both the know-how and the experience that I obviously don’t. To be perfectly honest I am totally not comfortable in front of a camera even when it is “just” photo taking, so what on earth possessed me to start filming videos is still bit beyond me. The other side of the problem is that these YouTubers that I watch and love are all at least 10 if not more years younger than I am, but I was so bent on comparing myself with them!

So now I am taking myself back on track, to make my blog a blog for women like me.

But I am not in my twenties or my thirties am I. And I am not a career YouTuber or a professional make up artist. You’d think that I am old enough to know better, but I did compare and was frustrated by not being able to look perfect or not being able to review some fabulous product every day of the week on the blog. Then I realized that that is exactly why I started my blog. Not because there are no other beauty bloggers out there, there are, tons. No, that was not the reason. The reason was that I am 40, going on 40ish (that indeterminate age when you cross the big four-oh and never seem to assign the second digit of your age anymore) and that my life and my priorities are different. That I like to look nice and polished, not flawless, that I have fine lines, that my salary must be earned working in an office from 9 to 6 in a non-beauty related job, and that to get to that office I must spend at least another hour and a half commuting. That once I get home, no matter how jazzed up I was about shooting a video or writing a blog post time must be spent on writing a 4 page assessment and critique on performance evaluation and its place in personnel psychology (a topic I dislike hugely).

So for all my friends, virtual or real, I wanted to write about beauty and fashion and life in general from exactly that perspective.

It is so easy to get lost, even when you think to yourself that you have too much experience and confidence to be lost; I guess that is another thing that I have learned. I think you can extrapolate this to any aspect of your life. For me it was a small thing like YouTube videos, and while many of you might put this down to downright vanity, and maybe it was, I think that I realized that you should not lose sight of what you set out to achieve. It is the basic premise of goal-setting theory (see how studying for a psych degree can be brought into a blog about makeup). You set goals and you keep sight on them and constantly go back to them to reassess, revise, and mark your progress, not get distracted by things that are outside of your scope. This can be quite distracting and it may actually cause you not to achieve what you set out to do. Sounds quite self evident but I am constantly amazed by just how many times in life I get distracted and don’t finish things I set out to do just because I forget where I was going.

So now I am taking myself back on track, to make my blog what I had always intended it to be, a blog for women like me who want to learn how to do make up and fashion, or for those that want to learn to enjoy it like I do. And to do it with limited resources, keeping in mind that limited resources in the 40’s means limited time, not necessarily limited budget.

Minimal Gray is about adding a bit of color to your everyday routines, be it hair, make up, fashion or a bit of me-time. Call me vain, but I never leave the house without mascara, it is a joke in our family, and I think applying eyeliner is a skill every girl should learn.

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